Leap, and the net will appear

The Four Horsemen of Fear, and why I had to stop procrastinating.

Photo credit: Procrastination.com

Chronic procrastinators make up 20% of the U.S. population, according to the American Psychological Association. Another 75% dabble in procrastination from time to time. My unproven theory is that 100% of the 20% are writers. I’m certainly in that mix.

Sometimes what looks like procrastination is actually part of the writing process, though. Writing, by my estimation (and therefore not statistically verified), consists of thinking about what you’re going to write for 75% (or more) of the available time and spending the remaining time actually writing it.

But real, bigger, more serious procrastination—where we keep finding reasons to put off, for years, something we would really like to do—is different. Maybe we think it’s frivolous. But not acting on it is harmful.

In a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, Bronnie Ware writes that the people for whom she provided palliative care were most regretful about not having had the courage to live a life true to themselves. They didn’t achieve their hopes and aspirations.

Why? Fear.

Corey Wilks, a clinical psychologist and executive coach, talks about the Four Horsemen of Fear—"the four most common limiting beliefs that hold us back from putting ourselves out there and doing meaningful work.” I’d heard of these four fears long ago but it was eye-opening to read about them again.

They are:

• Fear of failure - We’re worried about not being good enough, or not being able to make something work, so we never start.

• Fear of ridicule - Concern about what our friends, family, or society might think has stopped us from putting ourselves out there to do something that’s meaningful to us.

• Fear of uncertainty - We don’t think we have enough information to move forward, so we constantly seek more. We spend so much time trying to find out everything there is to know that we never start. (Eek! Covering my eyes on this one!)

• Fear of success - We believe success is a binary before-and-after state. We unconsciously sabotage ourselves to stay in our familiar current state rather than crossing a scary threshold we can’t see beyond.

Photo by John Cameron on Unsplash

My association with a big client ended recently, sooner than expected, due to budget cuts. That changed my financial picture, just when I had started discussions with a web professional to build an author’s site for me. (For clarity, I write professionally in the technology world, and fiction writing is the passion I’m pursuing.)

There were two reasons I would not have proceeded with the website plan under these circumstances in the past:

1. I just lost my biggest client, so I need to preserve money for now. This can wait until later.

2. I don’t have a finished full-length manuscript yet anyway, so it’s presumptuous to build an “author’s” website! People will think I’m so full of myself. (Horseman #2 rearing his head!)

But this isn’t the past. I made a commitment to myself a year ago that I was finally going to write and submit fiction. I have allowed too many reasons (some good, others convenient) to come between me and this goal I’ve had for so long. I didn’t want to stop my momentum, regardless of the reason.

So I now have a beautiful author’s website. It wasn’t the ideal time to pay for this project, but it was an important step in my forward progress. I’m glad I didn’t listen to that old inner voice. Having the site is a strong motivating force to fulfill my goal of completing a manuscript.

Years ago, I also followed my instincts and walked away from a bad situation. It was the worst possible time financially to do so. The only regret I have ever had was that I didn’t do it sooner. I started a business and gained immeasurable benefits beyond compensation, including peace.

Money comes and goes. Finances work themselves out. But passions have to be nurtured. We need to explore them or, like the people in Ware’s book, we’re not going to be fulfilled.

The author John Burroughs said, “Leap, and the net will appear.” I read this quote in Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way and was immediately captivated. Have faith and take a risk—what a novel concept. The idea is that you will not go into freefall; the universe will be your safety net and will provide the outcome you need. Though this is the kind of thing I would have branded as “New Age-y” at one time, I have to say I believe in it now. It works.

Photo by NEOM on Unsplash

Would things have been better if I had stayed in that bad situation to avoid a bit of financial uncertainty? Absolutely not. Would it be smarter to wait until I have a manuscript before putting myself out there as an author? Some might think so. Hell, even I would’ve thought the same a few years ago. But I can’t let another year go by where I talk endlessly about being an author but do nothing to manifest that destiny.

Another piece of wisdom from Julia Cameron: When a student would say, “But do you know how old I will be by the time I learn to really play the piano / act / paint / write a decent play?" She would answer: “Yes . . . the same age you will be if you don't.”

Join me in the leap. It’s scary but exhilarating, and I’d like the company.